How to avoid back outs and quitters

softballin101

Addicted to Softballfans
I’m trying to find a happy medium. Between keeping people happy and keeping them on the team and winning. Any advice on how to keep people around and them Not quit on you.
My team isn’t terrible but some people, after one or two losses, they will quit the team. This is making it exceedingly hard to build a solid squad when constantly having to pick players up.
Another thing is, people backing out at the last minute. And I always get some type of lame excuse and it’s usually the people who won’t pay you when I ask for the money from the team. Should I put those people on blast on social media when I do that? I’m not sponsored so will calculate the tournament amount and if someone stiffs me or doesn’t show, that shortfall falls on me to pay. Maybe this all comes with the territory.
I’m just trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong because I’ve seen teams, some great and some terrible stick together for years.
 

Normy

Well-Known Member
My luck with coaching sounds about like yours. I just find a good group of guys and sign on the dotted line these days. Less headaches and more fun.

But to answer your question, I have absolutely no idea.
 

ilyk2win

Addicted to Softballfans
Zero tolerance is the only policy. You owe, and don't pay, you don't play. Missing for injury, family or work ONLY - and known in advance. Anything last minute better be a full blown emergency, or you're gone. Simple. Too many teams allow guys to get away with poor behavior/commitment, and then cry woe is me. Hold people accountable or they often won't be.
 

hitless45

Addicted to Softballfans
Pay to play and then implementing (you won't play rules) is not realistic when dealing with grown men imo
 

dunkky

Well-Known Member
do you enjoy managing? no such thing as headacheless managerial task. otherwise, i would not try to babysit a bunch of grownup adults. they don't deserve your attention. you kids do, not them.
 

Normy

Well-Known Member
Zero tolerance is the only policy. You owe, and don't pay, you don't play. Missing for injury, family or work ONLY - and known in advance. Anything last minute better be a full blown emergency, or you're gone. Simple. Too many teams allow guys to get away with poor behavior/commitment, and then cry woe is me. Hold people accountable or they often won't be.
Yeah, you need to be a bit of a ****head these days if you choose to coach. I was way too lenient and it was nothing but a nightmare.
 

hitless45

Addicted to Softballfans
Yeah, you need to be a bit of a ****head these days if you choose to coach. I was way too lenient and it was nothing but a nightmare.
I've been that guy and frankly it rarely worked way back when I was dumb enough to take on that role, I can imagine how well that works these days especially when/if there are the young punks on the team 😏
 

r8dr_rider

Well-Known Member
Same here every season I lose a few and gain a few. I just bug the shut out of them to pay. Once paid I could care less if you don’t show because of a hangnail. I know many guys I can call at a moment’s notice. Problem with those guys are they don’t pay hence the reason they are on my pick up list
 

chile

Bad Ape
be happy if you can keep 3-4 core guys...my beer league team finally **** the bed after 7 yrs of the core 5-6 with some of the other regulars coming back in/out. i think we may try to get going again but there's not as much enthusiasm...
 

Normy

Well-Known Member
be happy if you can keep 3-4 core guys...my beer league team finally **** the bed after 7 yrs of the core 5-6 with some of the other regulars coming back in/out. i think we may try to get going again but there's not as much enthusiasm...
We had a great group of guys last year. Half of them decided not to play this year so the coach pulled the plug. Joined a team who needed a pitcher. Looked over the roster and noticed a friend of mine I haven't seen since high school. We crashed motorcycles together in our wild and crazy days. How we're still alive is beyond me. Should be fun reconnecting after 27 years.

But yeah, slowpitch softball is a crapshoot from season to season. Enjoy the moment!
 

TheKid33

Star Player
Gotta have everyone pay ahead of time if you want to protect yourself against ppl backing out. Now if someone quits after paying (has happened to my team more often than you’d think- guy paid $40 last fall and played one week)… that’s another story. Putting together a winning team is tough. It’s rare that you don’t get an ass hat in the bunch who decides it’s time to flake out or gets frustrated when you lose a few in a row. That’s why you make sure everyone pays ahead of time, so if/when that does happen at least you aren’t out $$. It took me 2-3 years of managing and fronting fees and losing out on $300ish probably to realize not everyone who is an adult is actually an adult and pays their fees or keeps their commitments
 

dunkky

Well-Known Member
that leads me to think, why you guys wanna manage a team if the team isn't acting like a true team? :) just join other team and forget about this BS.
 

ShortYellowBus

Well-Known Member
A quiet dugout is a losing dugout.

Think about that. Everyone is happy to be on a winning team, but doesn’t want to put in the work to continue winning. Eventually the losing starts and players start considering leaving.

I play music. I bought a good speaker to keep the energy up. I bring beer for the first few weeks of the season, to have a welcoming environment. I bring bats to the game and host BP.

I obviously do more than most would, but I have twenty eight guys who play regularly plus another dozen that want in.

Just like developing a decent swing, managing a softball team takes hard work. If you’re not working towards being a better manager, don’t whine when peoples decide to quit softball and play tennis instead.
 

TheKid33

Star Player
I enjoy managing even though it can be a pain the ass sometimes. I’ve played for other teams where the manager doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing and constantly playing with 9 or looking for subs an hour before the game. Favoring less skilled players in lineup/defense because it’s their friend. Letting drama build up between teammates and too scared or just don’t care enough to address it. Among other things.

This is why I most enjoy managing, I get to make sure things are done fairly and properly, and stay on top of things, whether it’s making sure everyone is going to be there, or making sure my pitcher doesn’t end up punching out an outfielder.

Edit: Meant to quote you dunky. I suck at forum’ing.
 

Normy

Well-Known Member
A quiet dugout is a losing dugout.

Think about that. Everyone is happy to be on a winning team, but doesn’t want to put in the work to continue winning. Eventually the losing starts and players start considering leaving.

I play music. I bought a good speaker to keep the energy up. I bring beer for the first few weeks of the season, to have a welcoming environment. I bring bats to the game and host BP.

I obviously do more than most would, but I have twenty eight guys who play regularly plus another dozen that want in.

Just like developing a decent swing, managing a softball team takes hard work. If you’re not working towards being a better manager, don’t whine when peoples decide to quit softball and play tennis instead.
Agreed. If I do ever manage a team again, that's all I'll be doing instead of the player/coach combo. Just too much of a juggling act. For me anyway. I've complained quite a bit but there were some really good times and memories made with the guys. It ain't all bad but you definitely have to put in the work.

Coed on the other hand...don't even get me started lol.
 

TheKid33

Star Player
Agreed. If I do ever manage a team again, that's all I'll be doing instead of the player/coach combo. Just too much of a juggling act. For me anyway. I've complained quite a bit but there were some really good times and memories made with the guys. It ain't all bad but you definitely have to put in the work.

Coed on the other hand...don't even get me started lol.
I actually did this last season, I had medical
Issues that prevented me from playing 90% of the year. It was actually quite fun to be the manager only. I was itching to get out there for myself but the fact that I wasnt supposed to be made the itch less as the season went on. It was still a challenge, but made the gig a lot easier knowing all I had to do was make sure everyone showed up and then put all my effort towards building chemistry between the guys. I still try to do that as player/manager regardless but it’s just a lot easier when you don’t have to worry about how you perform as well
 

dunkky

Well-Known Member
A quiet dugout is a losing dugout.

Think about that. Everyone is happy to be on a winning team, but doesn’t want to put in the work to continue winning. Eventually the losing starts and players start considering leaving.

I play music. I bought a good speaker to keep the energy up. I bring beer for the first few weeks of the season, to have a welcoming environment. I bring bats to the game and host BP.

I obviously do more than most would, but I have twenty eight guys who play regularly plus another dozen that want in.

Just like developing a decent swing, managing a softball team takes hard work. If you’re not working towards being a better manager, don’t whine when peoples decide to quit softball and play tennis instead.
haha, funny you brought that up. you are not talking about me, are you? believe it or not, tennis is the same way... some of the grownups didn't like the fact that they were giving a 10 year old a handicap point even though the kid was averaging below 1 win out of 5 to 6 possible matches in doubles. they want to make sure the kid wins zero matches every time.. that's pathetic at finest..

Also, i am playing softball less and less nowadays. last tournament i played which was a way back, i was 2nd best hitter with OBP~700, but there's no respect. all circle of loop BS. don't matter if the guy was batting 300, he is my BUDDY... A tourney before that which was like last year, I was the best hitter all games, but always batting 8th. No respect again and that is such BS. I may not be their buddies, but your buddies suck at hitting and you are destroying any chance of winning against a stacked team because you like to suck your buddy's *&)&*) who can't hit for ****. so, if you are manager, don't be that guy! lol
 

D-ROCK13

Well-Known Member
I've played on the same men's team since 2005ish, only the coach and myself remain from the original team, don't think any other og is still playing. We now have half a constant team and the other half seems to be a revolving door of younger generation guys. It's hard to keep a team together and keep people happy. Winning games and having fun are a must.

If you haven't paid, you don't play, unless you've talked to coach and an exception was made.

If you find the secret formula to make running a team easy, please for the love of everything, tell us here 🤣🤣
 

blakcherry329

Well-Known Member
The commitment level is way different now than it was back in the day. I've had more tournament teams break up during the season, in the last 5 years than the rest of my softball "career" combined. Mofos want things handed to them. When they don't get their way, they quit instead of trying to get better. Complaining about where they're batting(Dunky😂) or what position they're playing then end up quitting.
Too many sensitive whiny people that don't want to fully commit to a team unless everything goes their way.
 

hitless45

Addicted to Softballfans
I've played on the same men's team since 2005ish, only the coach and myself remain from the original team, don't think any other og is still playing. We now have half a constant team and the other half seems to be a revolving door of younger generation guys. It's hard to keep a team together and keep people happy. Winning games and having fun are a must.

If you haven't paid, you don't play, unless you've talked to coach and an exception was made.

If you find the secret formula to make running a team easy, please for the love of everything, tell us here 🤣🤣
Sounds like if you buy all the beer and supply all the bats that makes everyone happy, and you will have enough interest for three teams lol.

To each his own but all of that is just too much just to try and get out to have some recreational fun js
 
Last edited:

D-ROCK13

Well-Known Member
Honestly, in my experience, most of the younger generations, have commitment issues. They want everything handed to them and refuse to put in much effort. Forget about practice, that's not an option. Then whine and complain because they bat .200, and get dropped to the bottom of lineup, or get pulled from their favorite position, because of errors. And it's not limited to the softball field...

Thats why bats come hot out of the wrapper and gloves come pre broken in. I blame no spankings and participation trophies, but what do i know...

Now don't get me wrong, I've met a handful of guys in their mid 30s or older, that acted the same or worse 🤣
 

Redsfan

Well-Known Member
This is my 5th year back playing and my 5th different team. It's not that I wanted to be on 5 different teams but most of the players in my league make MLB look loyal. I have had a core 3-4 guys I've played with each year but the rest have been a revolving door. It's ridiculous. Commitment issues are only a part of it. Alot of people are just nuts and have totally unrealistic view of how the world works. Everybody can't bat 3rd and play SS. But it's more than a softball problem. It's a society problem. Try to find somebody to come to work.

Don't get me started ranting about practice. Both of my teams had exactly zero practices and league starts this Sunday for one and next week for the other. Good thing I have a hitting net and tee in my basement.
 

dunkky

Well-Known Member
Now don't get me wrong, I've met a handful of guys in their mid 30s or older, that acted the same or worse 🤣
This is so true... Some people keep saying older guys behave better.. That's BS. Age doesn't make man better. I've seen plenty of nasty old guys with no integrity. age don't hide your character.

It's a society problem
bingo.. has nothing to do softball but everything to do who you are and the society. if adam and eve did the right thing, we wouldn't be talking about this..
 

Redsfan

Well-Known Member
That kind of mentality has been around forever. It's just more common now, and permitted/accepted more than it should be.
This is true. I just don't understand how being an unreliable POS has become so acceptable. This is why our rosters have to have 30 freakin guys on it so you can hopefully have 10 show up on game day. It's just sad.
 

jbo911

Super Moderator
Staff member
I don't see it as being any worse today, you just hear about it more because of social media and the Internet. We had all the same no shows, burnouts, and cancers twenty years ago. I do see less of it now because I'm smarter and avoid those teams, so that may be a factor too. I've not known softball without the"that guy is such a waste of talent because he gets too drunk all the time " player .

Our problem is we're old, and we get young talent, but then they move up at the end of the year and we have to find replacements. That's getting harder to do with the use of three man outfields. We only had one quit mid year last year because he wasn't starting and one move up in the off season. I'm optimistic.
 

Redsfan

Well-Known Member
I guess I was spoiled by my old team. We had the same line up for 8-10 years. I only got on the team because one guy moved out of state and a spot opened up. It was a very good B/C team, everyone got along, everyone took BP before each game and we won a bunch of games. Only needed to have 12 people on the roster because players rarely missed a game. This overhauling a roster every year is new to me. Nobody wanting to practice is new to me. This is why I think it's so different.
 
Top