Pickup player horror stories
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KootrNtrudr
Addicted to Softballfans
Needed a fill in just to play, dude buys a glove on the way to fields, proceeds to strikeout swinging 7-8 times over the course of 2 games.
Not actually a pickup, but had a kid come out for my work team two years ago who said he played CF in HS. I never let him see the field he was so bad, but the only time he reached safely was on a 3 foot hit where he straight up spiked the catcher in the stomach with the bat. The C and the ump were so shocked it happened that neither did anything or called him out for slinging the bat. We talked to him before his next AB, but it was freaking hilarious at the time.
stickem
Active Member
15 years ago, short 1 at a church league game. guy passing by wants to pickup, says he plays short. during a relay from the outfield he doesn't catch it and gets blasted in the nose. ambulance comes out takes dude to the hospital. week later he sues the church for reconstructive surgery bills lol.
Short 1 for middle tier competitive coed game, new coworker always going on about how she was great in HS, played in college, etc... shows up to the game with an easton hammer, insists is a good bat because "easton only makes good bats", and is impressed that the other players can hit it out of the infield stating "wow you guys are super high level"...
TRaj2327
Well-Known Member
Oh boy, where do I start....
My own brother played ball with me for a couple summers before he went away to school, and after that I had him sub with me many times when he came back on breaks and everything was fine. He played baseball in high school and was a good player as well as playing football in college and being an overall great athlete. Switching over to softball he was better than average for a league team so I did what I normally did and asked him to come out last winter when he was home. The game he played with us in our dome league he went 0-4 with 4 strikeouts and barely tipped the ball. It was an anomaly and he was so embarrassed.
Another time, we brought out a new guy for NSA state that had a cup of coffee in the majors and played minor league ball for years. Not only did he play a terrible CF in a 5-man, he wasn't even good in a 4-man. To top it off, we batted him leadoff because we assumed he could beat out anything he hit and take extra bases at will. Nope, 3 dribbler comebackers to the pitcher. He didn't play game 2.
This is only the tip of the iceberg. So many stories...
My own brother played ball with me for a couple summers before he went away to school, and after that I had him sub with me many times when he came back on breaks and everything was fine. He played baseball in high school and was a good player as well as playing football in college and being an overall great athlete. Switching over to softball he was better than average for a league team so I did what I normally did and asked him to come out last winter when he was home. The game he played with us in our dome league he went 0-4 with 4 strikeouts and barely tipped the ball. It was an anomaly and he was so embarrassed.
Another time, we brought out a new guy for NSA state that had a cup of coffee in the majors and played minor league ball for years. Not only did he play a terrible CF in a 5-man, he wasn't even good in a 4-man. To top it off, we batted him leadoff because we assumed he could beat out anything he hit and take extra bases at will. Nope, 3 dribbler comebackers to the pitcher. He didn't play game 2.
This is only the tip of the iceberg. So many stories...
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second2noone
Active Member
we played in a tourney and the guy we picked said he played before. lol
in like 7 at bats he struck out every at bat and made so many errors right away so we sat him after the first 2 innings.
in like 7 at bats he struck out every at bat and made so many errors right away so we sat him after the first 2 innings.
WarHorse
Star Player
TBh though it took me a couple of rounds of BP to make the switch from baseball to softball. My timing was WAY off.
wcoastsoftball
Moderator
I once played with a guy who only swung 26oz bats.
Don't ever pick me up then.
Playing in church ball, we have picked up many duds, thankfully none of them have ever had a pre-game brag story that made them look bad.
jrockdog
Splittin Gaps
Short 1 , picked up a guy and threw him in right.
Bottom of 7th, we are in the field and up one. 2 outs, runners on 1st and 2nd. Single to right. Guy on second scores easily, moderately slow runner going first to third. Guy in right unleashed a seed towards third but 30 feet down the left field line and into the stands.
He walked off the field with a torn rotator.
Bottom of 7th, we are in the field and up one. 2 outs, runners on 1st and 2nd. Single to right. Guy on second scores easily, moderately slow runner going first to third. Guy in right unleashed a seed towards third but 30 feet down the left field line and into the stands.
He walked off the field with a torn rotator.
Rog
Addicted to Softballfans
i picked up a guy off of craigslist to play in a benefit tourney. they guy showed up in soccer cleats and and a 8u fastpitch bat lol. the guy had a hard time squaring up with the ball so he bunted, not a swinging bunt. a straight up BUNT. i'd never seen that before in my life lol. he was called out and we told him after the game that it was win or go home. he played catcher and couldn't even get the ball back to the pitcher. he slowed the game down a lot since we were chasing after his ball every time.
ball go far
Addicted to Softballfans
we picked up a guy, he was better than me, team cut me from the roster....
never pick up players, leads to heart ache
never pick up players, leads to heart ache
younggun88
Softball Assassin
pick up
needed a pickup for church league, dad said he had a friend that was pretty good back in the day. guy shows up in cut off "short" blue jean shorts, Hawaiian button up shirt, an old aluminum bat so wore out you couldn't even read the writing on it and no glove. gave him a glove and told him to go play right, dude gets half way to the pitchers mound and turns and screams back in the dug out "which way is right field again?" facepalm.....
needed a pickup for church league, dad said he had a friend that was pretty good back in the day. guy shows up in cut off "short" blue jean shorts, Hawaiian button up shirt, an old aluminum bat so wore out you couldn't even read the writing on it and no glove. gave him a glove and told him to go play right, dude gets half way to the pitchers mound and turns and screams back in the dug out "which way is right field again?" facepalm.....
jhsfive
Outstanding Mutha****er
Stretch19
Grow up
he got 7 abs in 2 innings?
stickem
Active Member
Sounds like he got moved to dh
second2noone
Active Member
sorry meant that he only played field like 2 innings. the rest of tourney of 3 games he got like 7 at bats and struck out every time.
SandyWH
#Delicious
Guy hanging around the ballfield, has always talked his way on to good teams. We needed one to make 9 so we thought we'd pick him up and be OK; playing the top team in our division.
He starts out telling us he's a 3rd baseman. First 2 balls of the game are hit dead at him and he boots them.
So we move him to 2nd after that inning and put our regular 3rd back over there.
He goes 0 for hist first 3 flying out deep to center all three times.
Makes 4 more errors at 2nd, 2 on DP balls and one he had a week to make a throw to first and threw it in the dirt.
Last at bat, we're down 1 with 1 out and 2 on. Even if he flies out we've got our best average hitter coming up.
He flies out to deep center again (0-4) then proceeds to sling the bat (one of ours, not his own) against the fence and screams "F***".
So, he gets tossed and because that now leaves us with 8 players we forfeit the game.
Game was in hand and a guy who is supposed to be a hot shot comes out and absolutely kills us then when it seems like we might overcome his crap, he goes and gets us an "L" anyway by being a jackhole.
He starts out telling us he's a 3rd baseman. First 2 balls of the game are hit dead at him and he boots them.
So we move him to 2nd after that inning and put our regular 3rd back over there.
He goes 0 for hist first 3 flying out deep to center all three times.
Makes 4 more errors at 2nd, 2 on DP balls and one he had a week to make a throw to first and threw it in the dirt.
Last at bat, we're down 1 with 1 out and 2 on. Even if he flies out we've got our best average hitter coming up.
He flies out to deep center again (0-4) then proceeds to sling the bat (one of ours, not his own) against the fence and screams "F***".
So, he gets tossed and because that now leaves us with 8 players we forfeit the game.
Game was in hand and a guy who is supposed to be a hot shot comes out and absolutely kills us then when it seems like we might overcome his crap, he goes and gets us an "L" anyway by being a jackhole.
huberlawncare30
Addicted to Softballfans
Needed a player one night in league and a buddy of mine, who had never played any baseball or softball, just happened to be at the park so we picked him up. First at bat, he hits a decent ground ball, but slings the bat. He doesn't hit anybody and the umpire gives him a warning. Next at bat, he again hits the ball fairly well, but slings the bat again. This time he nails the ump in the wrist. The ump, who was a friend of mine, had previously had surgery on that very wrist. Luckily it didn't do any major damage. So obviously the ump calls him out and basically scares our pickup to death. What made it worse was when I came to bat my next time the ump, who didn't know I picked the guy up, says what kind of an idiot picked up that guy. I simply shrugged my shoulders and said I have no idea.
OldguyinHavasu
Addicted to Softballfans
I know what you all are thinking... "That sounds like that old guy from Havasu...." well, yes, I am that guy, in almost every story.
DoctaJ
The Veteran
ChiefBootKnocka
Banned User
Got picked up for a fredom tourney, went 9 for 11 with 6 bombs in the day. Team goes 1 and 2 and coach has the nerve to ask if Id like to play with them in the next tournament!
MaverickAH
Well-Known Member
Kind of a reverse pick-up story.........
I had always played modified & never played slow pitch before. My former modified team had disbanded the previous year. I decided that I didn't want to travel anymore & there was an upper level slow pitch league close to home. I headed over to where a lot of teams practiced & there was a team there holding tryouts. I proceed to work out with them figuring I'd at least get a workout. There were about 25-30 guys there & at some point the manager decides to have a scrimmage game.
He divides the guys into 2 teams. His veterans make up one team & the new guys trying out make up the other. Before we start playing, he proceeds to give the new guys this warning.........
"My vets are good players so don't be discouraged if you can't keep up with them. We play in a very tough league & to be honest, it's highly unlikely that any of you will be able to make this team. Just go out there & show us what you've got but don't get your hopes up."
Anyway, our team of so-called new guys proceed on to completely destroy his vets! It wasn't even close! The manager came over to me after the game to ask if I'd be interested in playing with them. I told him I had other commitments & he practically followed me out of the park trying to change my mind.
The real kicker is that I didn't play in that league until the following year (different team). It was then that I found out that this guy's team was one of the worst in the league! Dodged a bullet!!!
I had always played modified & never played slow pitch before. My former modified team had disbanded the previous year. I decided that I didn't want to travel anymore & there was an upper level slow pitch league close to home. I headed over to where a lot of teams practiced & there was a team there holding tryouts. I proceed to work out with them figuring I'd at least get a workout. There were about 25-30 guys there & at some point the manager decides to have a scrimmage game.
He divides the guys into 2 teams. His veterans make up one team & the new guys trying out make up the other. Before we start playing, he proceeds to give the new guys this warning.........
"My vets are good players so don't be discouraged if you can't keep up with them. We play in a very tough league & to be honest, it's highly unlikely that any of you will be able to make this team. Just go out there & show us what you've got but don't get your hopes up."
Anyway, our team of so-called new guys proceed on to completely destroy his vets! It wasn't even close! The manager came over to me after the game to ask if I'd be interested in playing with them. I told him I had other commitments & he practically followed me out of the park trying to change my mind.
The real kicker is that I didn't play in that league until the following year (different team). It was then that I found out that this guy's team was one of the worst in the league! Dodged a bullet!!!
mattun
Internet Tough Guy
We forever called this pulling a Dobbins. So my work team was playing with nine players most of the season. Actually worked out because our infield was bad and our three outfielders would get to everything. But then our left fielder moved. There was this guy who played basketball with us named Mike Dobbins. He was a big dude and fairly athletic. He claimed he played baseball better than basketball, so come on down. Before the game, I was playing catch with him and his first throw sailed wide left over the fence into a car dealership. Okay... maybe he's nervous. But his throws continue to look like he's really left handed. Well, maybe he can hit. We bat him fifth and he proceeds to do this half swing downward hack that misses the first pitch and then drives the second down two feet in front of the plate. We put him in RF and... of course... the first hit finds him. Only he's growing roots out there and the CF has to run down the ball that's hit maybe ten feet from him. Then our LF pulls his hammy in the 2nd inning and our poor CF is now essentially covering the entire outfield. Later in the game, a week groundball is actually fielded by the dude but when he throws it.... I kid you not.... it goes straight up in the air and lands five feet from him. The CF picks it up and throws it in and can't get this shocked stupid smile off his face for the rest of the inning. Pulling a Dobbins.
single wally
Professional Amateur
Granted this was for a coed league roster, but I had to resort to Craigslist for the final guy. (see where this is leading...) I got someone self-described as 38 without much softball experience, but very athletic and an all-star baseball player in high school. Dude was horrible - looked like a creepy uncle, two left feet, zero glove, nothing but swinging bunts and Ks at the plate. I cut him after two games and when I met him to refund his $, he confessed to me that he was actually 54, only ball experience was at picnics, and that he was "in over his head" haha.