Hitting 400 Ft Bombs

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bigwrig6

Addicted to Softballfans
I know the amount of posts directly affects how far you hit the ball but can someone pleaser let me know how to hit 400 ft bombs? Chicks dig the long ball, and there is no better feeling in the world like hitting a home run for an out 400 ft. So can somebody please tell me how to legally accomplish this feat? My wife is going to leave me if I don't start hitting the ball over 375 ft. Help!
 
krakrt

krakrt

Addicted to Softballfans
First you have to work on your bat flip, of helps the ball stay in flight longer, and also you need to develop a good grunt when you swing. And always remember to POP the chain, and that it is god given!!!!!!
 
scabnews

scabnews

Addicted to Softballfans
To ensure proper circulation, it is imperative to wear at least 1 pair of bicep warmers. And they have to match your pants or your shoes. And you MUST call time out when you get in the box. Dig a hole in the box and then step next to the hole you dug.

This is a building block for success.
 
BBBD1969

BBBD1969

Bigger than the game.
bigwrig6 said:
I know the amount of posts directly affects how far you hit the ball but can someone pleaser let me know how to hit 400 ft bombs? Chicks dig the long ball, and there is no better feeling in the world like hitting a home run for an out 400 ft. So can somebody please tell me how to legally accomplish this feat? My wife is going to leave me if I don't start hitting the ball over 375 ft. Help!
Click to expand...

Until you start getting extra runs for 400' or longer, who cares? As long as you clear the fence consistently, a 400 footer = a 310 footer.
 
hitsone

hitsone

Well-Known Member
It's not only the post count, it is the content of those posts.
Only quality subjects count eg What is the best ASA bat?

Also is your wife worth the extra effort for 25 more feet?
 
Fin09

Fin09

Addicted to Softballfans
1- wear really tight pants. Tight enough that your teammates can read the date on the dime in your back pocket.
2- take 4-5 practice swings before getting in the box. Hit your back with the bat if possible. This causes swelling.
3- build a small mound of dirt in the batters box to push off of. Stand nowhere near it.
4- tell the umpire "I'll give you a verbal". Take 4-5 more swings.
5- take the first pitch. It's a cookie right down the middle. Scowl at the umpire. Maybe even complain that it was clearly only 5'10", not 6'.
6- swing at the next pitch, since the umpire took the bat out of your hands by calling the last pitch a strike, when it was clearly 5'10", not 6'. It is a foot inside, 14' high, and might hit the backstop if you don't hit it. This is your courtesy foul.
7- step out of the box, scowl at umpire again, since he obviously made you swing at this pitch. Repeat steps 2-4.
8- swing at next pitch, since the umpire has no idea what a strike looks like. It's 4' high and a foot outside, but there's no way you're buying beer. Result? 400 foot bomb. Flip bat, walk back to dugout for high fives and bro hugs.
 
niteshadow

niteshadow

Addicted to Softballfans
Fin09 said:
1- wear really tight pants. Tight enough that your teammates can read the date on the dime in your back pocket.
2- take 4-5 practice swings before getting in the box. Hit your back with the bat if possible. This causes swelling.
3- build a small mound of dirt in the batters box to push off of. Stand nowhere near it.
4- tell the umpire "I'll give you a verbal". Take 4-5 more swings.
5- take the first pitch. It's a cookie right down the middle. Scowl at the umpire. Maybe even complain that it was clearly only 5'10", not 6'.
6- swing at the next pitch, since the umpire took the bat out of your hands by calling the last pitch a strike, when it was clearly 5'10", not 6'. It is a foot inside, 14' high, and might hit the backstop if you don't hit it. This is your courtesy foul.
7- step out of the box, scowl at umpire again, since he obviously made you swing at this pitch. Repeat steps 2-4.
8- swing at next pitch, since the umpire has no idea what a strike looks like. It's 4' high and a foot outside, but there's no way you're buying beer. Result? 400 foot bomb. Flip bat, walk back to dugout for high fives and bro hugs.
Click to expand...

Sounds like a winner to me... Dont forget to adjust the batting gloves after every pitch...
 
D

dponder

Addicted to Softballfans
Fin09 said:
1- wear really tight pants. Tight enough that your teammates can read the date on the dime in your back pocket.
2- take 4-5 practice swings before getting in the box. Hit your back with the bat if possible. This causes swelling.
3- build a small mound of dirt in the batters box to push off of. Stand nowhere near it.
4- tell the umpire "I'll give you a verbal". Take 4-5 more swings.
5- take the first pitch. It's a cookie right down the middle. Scowl at the umpire. Maybe even complain that it was clearly only 5'10", not 6'.
6- swing at the next pitch, since the umpire took the bat out of your hands by calling the last pitch a strike, when it was clearly 5'10", not 6'. It is a foot inside, 14' high, and might hit the backstop if you don't hit it. This is your courtesy foul.
7- step out of the box, scowl at umpire again, since he obviously made you swing at this pitch. Repeat steps 2-4.
8- swing at next pitch, since the umpire has no idea what a strike looks like. It's 4' high and a foot outside, but there's no way you're buying beer. Result? 400 foot bomb. Flip bat, walk back to dugout for high fives and bro hugs.
Click to expand...

This is pretty funny. I especially like #3.
 
CPhoenixM

CPhoenixM

Extra Hitter
I've heard that the ancient ball players believed becoming a eunuch gave you special powers.

Just sayin'.
 
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