Pickup player horror stories

[Hiltz]

On the other end of the spectrum. Picked up a bf/gf couple from craigslist when we were running way short in coed. Both were actually decent players, nothing special but paid on time/got there on time/decent enough fielders/hitters. Anyway, he calls me before one of the seasons to tell me they broke up and they won't be playing, we ended up calling the girl and she still plays coed with us to this day.

One of the team captains in our coed league has had several couples play on his team. He gives them all the same speech when they join: "If you ever break up, I'm keeping the girl."

Average girls are hard to find, average guys are a dime a dozen.

 

[ddoubler]

here's my little story, playing Friday night league a guys comes up and says hey we need you for a tourney this weekend you free? His coach asked him to get 2 guys,short players, good team blah blah ..But you have to drive an hour, so Yeah why not! I arrive at field coach walks up and says i have 10 you are 11 do you mind sitting and EH?
I'm here, sure.... about to start game as they are talking to blue other team says they are short, guys got into accident and wont make it, coach says we have an extra take him. Onto other team i go staring with 9, team beats us pretty good. They pick up another and we roll through loser bracket to meet the team that asked me again, i had a "one of those tourneys" just on fire hitting all over the field. Back and forth game we force the if game. During the short 5 minute break the guy that originally asked me comes over and says, hey take it easy on us, we need this to place for state, i shrugged and said you guys gave me away, another back and forth game we beat them on a bases loaded walk. To this day the guy that asked and the coach wont talk to me, it happened 15 years ago....

Sounds like that took that loss to heart

 

[bpenosa1]

Picked up a guy at work for league ball. Said he was an outfielder. Showed up with no glove and was left handed. When nobody had a glove for him to use he said he'd play without a glove!!!! I told him to go home.

 

[Redman]

Picked up a guy at work for league ball. Said he was an outfielder. Showed up with no glove and was left handed. When nobody had a glove for him to use he said he'd play without a glove!!!! I told him to go home.

Shoulda told him to play 3rd

 

[RogueWarrior28]

Or should of let him pitch

 

[ahgofish]

We needed a guy for league night so a teammate says a guy from his new job has played some 16". Guy shows up with a 34oz. wood 16" bat, no glove, wearing steel toe work boots, Jorts and a dirty wife-beater. I figured he came straight from work so offered him my back-up spikes. He says "no I'm good I like wearing these for grip"....okay. I ask him if he wants to throw a little..."sure". Ummm, you need a glove? "No, I'm good". I remind him this is 12"...says he used to playing without a glove and he's still "good". I start light tossing him the ball and after like five throws he jambs the sh** out of his finger. He decides he might try a glove after all. Fast forward to game time. We bat first and put a few on the board. He comes to the plate wearing full on tan, cowhide work gloves for batting gloves. Hits a slow roller to middle for a DP. Bottom of the inning he goes to RF. Couple of batters into the inning guy hits a fly ball to him. He comes running in full out and over runs the ball by about 30 feet. He went 0-4 and never hit a ball out of the infield. We moved him to C and had our 6' 300lbs. guy play right.

 

[scrub]

Picked this guy up, was really shy and whatnot so we asked where he plays he was like I dunno so we said well can you play OF he said I guess so since we run a 3 man outfield NO MATTER WHAT TAKE NO PRISONERS we stuck him in center guy is running around like a gazelle making diving catches all over the place hosing fools out at 1b, 2b, 3b and home then at bat hits a single, double, triple and 2 HR's after the game he pulls a cooler out of his trunk filled with like 150 beers and ice (big cooler) and he kept going around in circles blowing all of us what a loser

 

[chrometip78]

I got picked up by a team on league night and hit nothing but dingers. There wasn't any HR's allowed in their division so I batted 0 and made them feel like the other guys on a Big Johnson T-shirt. I'm sure they still talk about me.

 

[billvp]

Picked this guy up, was really shy and whatnot so we asked where he plays he was like I dunno so we said well can you play OF he said I guess so since we run a 3 man outfield NO MATTER WHAT TAKE NO PRISONERS we stuck him in center guy is running around like a gazelle making diving catches all over the place hosing fools out at 1b, 2b, 3b and home then at bat hits a single, double, triple and 2 HR's after the game he pulls a cooler out of his trunk filled with like 150 beers and ice (big cooler) and he kept going around in circles blowing all of us what a loser

not sure why you've got a guy blowing you in your softball pick-up fantasy :wtf2: ... could've at least been he got a couple cute chicks out of the truck who took turns blowing you all

 

[billvp]

My team was short a player so we had a guy from work pick up. The guy was like 6'2 220, but didn't seem super athletic. He said he'd played a little before but I had no idea if he was solid or not. He showed up 2 minutes before the game so we had him play catcher just in case ... he couldn't even throw the ball all the way back to the pitcher. He looked like that guy in the insurance commercial who was teaching his son how to throw like a girl.

Anyway, we start with a 1-1 count. His first time up to bat he swung twice and missed for a K. We tell him to make sure it's a good pitch because one of them bounced before the plate. His second time up, the first pitch was a called strike and then the second pitch hit him on the hand and he just stood there like a statue ... the ball bounced off him and he was still staring at the pitcher frozen. Everyone was cracking up. The worst thing about it was that it was called a foul ball and strike 3 (no courtesy). Everyone laughs about it to this day at work.

 

[etnstudios]

not sure why you've got a guy blowing you in your softball pick-up fantasy :wtf2: ... could've at least been he got a couple cute chicks out of the truck who took turns blowing you all

he was keeping it real

 

[jride916]

Here's my story. We had to play in a ISA regional to qualify for world's, well of course we only have 9 and get matched up against the best C team in the area in a C/D combo and we're a D team. So we pick up a random guy that said he was an awesome baseball player. Well we get there and he doesn't have a glove, wearing a button down shirt that's completely unbuttoned with a wife beater on underneath. Proceeds to play in that all game. So we put him at catcher and can't throw the ball back to the pitcher. Looks like he's trying to shot put it back. He got 8 ab's in 2 games, swung and missed 16 times. Literally never touched the ball. Luckily we convinced him to go to a rodeo and we finished with 9.

 

[rat bastard]

We needed a guy for league night so a teammate says a guy from his new job has played some 16". Guy shows up with a 34oz. wood 16" bat, no glove, wearing steel toe work boots, Jorts and a dirty wife-beater. I figured he came straight from work so offered him my back-up spikes. He says "no I'm good I like wearing these for grip"....okay. I ask him if he wants to throw a little..."sure". Ummm, you need a glove? "No, I'm good". I remind him this is 12"...says he used to playing without a glove and he's still "good". I start light tossing him the ball and after like five throws he jambs the sh** out of his finger. He decides he might try a glove after all. Fast forward to game time. We bat first and put a few on the board. He comes to the plate wearing full on tan, cowhide work gloves for batting gloves. Hits a slow roller to middle for a DP. Bottom of the inning he goes to RF. Couple of batters into the inning guy hits a fly ball to him. He comes running in full out and over runs the ball by about 30 feet. He went 0-4 and never hit a ball out of the infield. We moved him to C and had our 6' 300lbs. guy play right.

Really? You gonna talk sh..t about me on the boards? :biggthumpup:

 

[STLCoach]

I'll bite..

A few years back on league night we were short a guy and one of the guys recommended a guy from our neighboring state (IL) to drive 25 miles to play with us. So I didn't think anything of it at the time.. And I said sure, go ahead and call him. He shows up, Has every piece of gear you can think of (Two cleats/turfs, 6 good bats, huge wheeled bag, full tournament uni (Which I found out later he plays on a rec work tournament related team) and we start talking (nice guy) and he starts telling me all the "teams" he's played for. I recognized a few and again.. Thought nothing of it.

Basically.. When he fielded in the OF.. He looked like Smalls from Sandlot when he got burned in LF by the first fly ball he'd ever seen in his whole life. So we stick him at catcher in the next inning and he had trouble just catching the hop. Then while hitting (Which he told me previously that he took BP many times during the year) when he did hit the ball it was all arms and it never left the IF. He struck out/fouled out 3 times in 2 doubleheader games. Then proceeded to come in the dugout and said "He's calling high strikes." What? it's a 6-10ft arc ASA league. If you think he's cresting.. Don't swing. Anyway.. after that we never had him play again but he did come out to watch us a few times. Nice guy.. But horrible softball player.

 

[scu duner]

Im not sure if its the players we pick up or a jinx from the team. Had my ex brother in law come out to play. never seem him play just said he could. first inning of his first game he is in rf. Pop fly he yells i got it. ya he did right off his forehead. Split his eyebrow wide open. Eye was swollen shut by the time he got to the dugout. Another guy we had come out said he could play second base. nice slow roller to him he throws to first. Ball goes sailing over ther fence.Well turned out his shoulder popped out when he threw the ball. He rolled around a little then popped it back in and said lets play. Same guy a few weks later was walking to the field. We hear heads up right them boom ball to the eye. Knocked him out. call the ambulance broken eye socket and had to have surgery. and was out of work for like 6 weeks.

 

[Nusalazar1976]

Which Chris was this? Garza or Kyle?

This was a long time ago. I didnt even know Garza or Kyle yet.

 

[D Truth32]

Had a teammates coworker come out for a tournament. He was saying he was a good player and how he played shortstop in high school and a little outfield in college. Coach put him at SS since our regular short was busy that weekend. Ol boy booted every ball that came to him the first game (this coach didn't like changing players out during the game. Believed everyone needs to just play through it). Second game, coach changed him and out left center fielder. He played back on all balls and ran up as the were hit. Needless to say we all memorized his number since that's all we saw that game. We then had a break and he told us he was going for lunch. Needless to say he never came back for the afternoon games...lol.

 

[ni1ck]

It always seems like the guys who talk themselves up are the worst. Guys who say they are okay, usually end of being the best. Unless someone has moved recently usually the better players are not seeking out new teams, teams are seeking them out.

 

[Donger73]

Had a pickup player get hooked and booked on a failure to appear warrant, finished with 9 guys

 

[zuke 37]

picked up a guy, struck out his first 2 times up.
6th inning he comes to bat with the bases loaded,he hits into a double play. I asked him why didn't he strike out, he got mad and walked off.


story #2: our pitcher asks to be taken out because his kid has to go to the bathroom, he had to #2 and would only go at home.
in the second game he comes to bat with the bases loaded and we tell him not to hit up the middle. of corse he does and hits into a double play. later the game he comes to bat with the bases loaded again. I holler up into the stands, "Hay pauley, do you got to poop?" that was 35 years ago, his wife doesn't talk to me to this day

 

[obagain]

One of my teams was in need of a pitcher for a league night double-header. So we pick up this guy who is a softball groupie--always talks about the teams he plays for and the tournaments he plays in and all the guys he played with that play B and C ball and all that...
He comes in and pitches for us. First inning he walked 4 guys in a row. Whatever, he some of the pitches looked pretty close so maybe he'd get it figured out and make the adjustment.

Nope. The next 3 innings he walked at least 3 guys in each inning. We tried to move him to C because he said that was the only other position he played. He got super pissed that "we were being ****s to him" so whatever, we didn't need the drama we just let him keep pitching. We lost the first game because he walked 17 guys (including walking in the GW run). The second game we won despite another 12-15 walks. He then walked over to the concessions to find the schedule for next week and showed up the next week too (uninvited).
We sent him home.

The groupie reminded me of a guy, we never picked him up but he would show up every league night and hang out hoping to get picked up, in a full Texas Rangers uniform lol.
I'm talking high pants, stirrups his name on the jersey, the works.
I don't remember him ever playing but he was always out there.

 

[smarkley3]

Is this post about me?

 

[jdsebastian85]

About 2 years ago my I see my little cousin at the grocery store. We talk for a bit, he says he just graduated and that he has been looking into playing some softball. He said he played 3 years of high school(catcher). I tell him I have a decent team and to come out the next week and play in a tourney with us because we were going to be short a couple of guys. He shows up, looks the part, talks a good game, but is not a baseball player. We start him out in right, he literally lets 3 fly over his head and just jogs to get the ball, causing 2 inside the park homeruns. So we move him to C. He proceeds to miss 75% of the pitches, makes terrible throws bake to the P. Then on a play at home literally has his back to the field talking to someone through the fence, lets ball fly over his head and hit the fence and the guy scores. Proceeds to strike out 6 of 8, with 2 groundouts. We even spent a year working with the guy, and he did not improve. We cut him last fall.

#2 Teammates son picks up with us on an outlaw tourney. He is 16, looks 13. We literally had to show his ID. An absolute beast. Tons of excellent plays in the OF, hosing people all over, and base hitting the hell out the ball. He will be joining our tournament team this summer.

 

[wcoastsoftball]

Actually I remember one of myself being the pick up player. I hadn't played in a couple years and in the meantime they had changed the home plate rules to include a safety home plate. Regardless of whether there was a play at the plate or not, you had to touch the outside plate to be safe. Needless to say no one told me about it. I was picked up in the first round of the playoffs by a friend. Previous innings I had a home run, and was left on base or got out so therefore, did not come around to home plate. Well, last inning I was on and was the tying run. Base hit by a teammate and came around with no play to tie the game and hit the inside plate thinking I had tied the game. Ump yells "OUT!" and I was dumbfounded. Well, we lost

 

[Allsport27]

craigslist is always a good place to find talent

picked up this guy from craigslist because it was a for fun team with a bunch of guys from work, this guy shows up in sparkling purple and neon green soccer cleats :mod: a wife beater jorts and under armor sweat bands on both legs, arms and head, says he only plays shortstop because he's sweet... ok our manager puts him there and I have to play third next to this douche, turns out he is a lefty and has a little league mitt, needless to say he couldn't throw a beach ball in the ocean and he had this wind up shot putt thingy that I have never seen in my life, anyways I had my sister replace him next week at least she could play catcher

****heads stats for the day
1-9 double header 7 strike outs and one at bat tried to say he was hit intentionally and ran to first, he did however swinging bunt once and slide head first into first base:wtf2:
4 errors in two innings at short, played catcher first game then picked up a random at the field to play the second, said ****head just DH'd

Craigslist killer.... of innings:thumb:

 

[etnstudios]

stories like this ^^^ make me wonder who came along with him that he's trying to impress. someone's gotta be out there with a camera

 

[Jomatty]

We put together a team at work and my buddy who plays third said he had a friend who was offered a D1 scholarship to play baseball but had not played for a few years. He showed up without a glove so I let him use my back up, a 12.75 pro preferred that he blamed for all the errors he made. He struck out swinging twice and hit weak rollers the other at bats. Before the game I gave a little speech saying "a lot of guys have not paid, pay up and you play, otherwise I'm gonna find people who will throw in to play". Within minutes of the game ending he is putting money in my hand and just being as nice as could be and is seemingly oblivious to his performance. I was a dumbass and took the money and we were stuck with "d1", his new nickname, all season.

 

[Allsport27]

etn studios, his girlfriend was there too I forgot to mention

 

[etnstudios]

makes sense. she must have the cleanest cooch in the land. i mean, with him being a huge douche and all

 

[Fro Joe]

The groupie reminded me of a guy, we never picked him up but he would show up every league night and hang out hoping to get picked up, in a full Texas Rangers uniform lol.
I'm talking high pants, stirrups his name on the jersey, the works.
I don't remember him ever playing but he was always out there.

One of my leagues had a guy like that except in a full Scott Rolen, Cardinals uniform. He wore it every week. He played nothing like Scott Rolen.